Surviving Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another: What is it and How Do We Cope?

Have you seen that Hulu original, The Act? Or maybe the HBO documentary, Mommy Dead and Dearest? Both follow the story of Gypsy Lee Blanchard, who was the victim of factitious disorder imposed on another and murdered her mother to escape. Gypsy's story is extreme, but there are many people who suffer from this disorder every day. Formerly known as, Munchausen's by proxy, it is defined by the Mayo Clinic as "is when someone falsely claims that another person has physical or psychological signs or symptoms of illness, or causes injury or disease in another person with the intention of deceiving others." They go on to further explain, "People with this disorder present another person as sick, injured or having problems functioning, claiming that medical attention is needed. Usually, this involves a parent harming a child. This form of abuse can put a child in serious danger of injury or unnecessary medical care." Those with this disorder may convince others their child is sick by exaggerating pre-existing symptoms, making up medical histories, or tampering with medical results. 

People who are at risk of developing factious disorders include: 

• Childhood trauma, such as emotional, physical or sexual abuse
• A serious illness during childhood
• Loss of a loved one through death, illness or abandonment
• Past experiences during a time of sickness and the attention it brought
• A poor sense of identity or self-esteem
• Personality disorders
• Depression
• Desire to be associated with doctors or medical centers
• Work in the health care field

In my case, my mother tried to gain control of her children by convincing doctors we had serious psychiatric issues. Of her three children, all three have had stints in psychiatric units. One of my sisters and I spent our time in an inpatient hospital, while my youngest sister spent a few years in an outpatient hospital. While my mother did not have any "medical" experience, she has spent many years working in behavioral health. 

At the age of 14, she convinced several psychiatrists that I had schizophrenia. Anyone with a basic understanding of psychology may understand why this is unusual. According to NAMI, "Although schizophrenia can occur at any age, the average age of onset tends to be in the late teens to the early 20s for men, and the late 20s to early 30s for women." I had no hallucinations or delusions, but I did display classic symptoms of depression such as isolating myself, insomnia, little interest in activities, etc. But, my mother convinced the doctors that we had a strong family history of schizophrenia. She claimed that we had several cousins with the mental illness and that they were completely debilitated by it. (Now, I'm not calling her a liar, but I will say I've never met these cousins or heard anyone talk about our history of schizophrenia except for her). 

At first glance this may seem like a mom who is concerned for her children's well-being, and that her children just happened to draw unlucky cards when it came to mental health. But as we got older her behavior got weirder and weirder. She applied for scholarships because of her children's "high medical costs" and applied for SSDI for us. (Which was denied because she made too much. She owned her own business and easily made over 6 figures a year with a great benefits plan). When my sister got diagnosed with pre-diabetes instead of trying to encourage healthy behaviors, she started bringing home fast food every day and then making fun of her for packing on the pounds. I got an infected wart in my foot that had to be cut out. And, she insisted that they use no numbing solution and that she be allowed to watch. I almost passed out from the pain as my mother clapped her hands with glee. And then, as soon as I turned 18 and was about to leave for college, she insisted I sign away my legal rights so that she could assume legal guardianship. I refused, but she also attempted this with my uncle and my grandfather, and she was successful with my uncle. 

Whenever I would bring up my doubts about actually being schizophrenic, she would reassure me that was just apart of my disease and was normal to think. When I became an adult, she threatened to cut off all financial support if I were to go off my medicine. 

Before I go any further, you should know that I have a happy ending. I was able to get off my anti-psychotics. I've been off them for about 4 years and most of the negative side effects have now ceased (except I still grow facial hair). I have cut off all contact with my mother. And, I'm under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist, both who assure me there is no way I was ever schizophrenic. 

But what happens to the kids who are able to escape these toxic relationships? Where do we go from here?

I first knew I needed to cut off my mother after I realized she had a serious personality disorder. So, I set a firm boundary. I told her we could no longer have a relationship unless she came to family therapy. She refused, and we haven't spoken since. But, I was heartbroken. What kind of person am I that my own mother wants nothing to do with me? So, I held a mock funeral for the mother I deserved, mourned, and tried to move on. I also joined an online support group with other people like me. Their mothers also had personality disorders and many of them also experienced a fictitious disorder first hand. Talking to other people who had gone through a similar experience also really helped.

I also have started meditating, journaling, writing, coloring, and exploring my faith as a way to cope. I even wrote a letter to my former psychiatrist, explaining how he got my diagnosis wrong. Kids that have gone through this often have very little in the way of healthy coping skills and must make an effort to learn them.

I'm now better than I used to be. But, I'm still scarred from my experience. Every time I see a new doctor I cringe when they ask the inevitable question, "So, do you have schizophrenia?" I'm embarrassed as I explain my story and always receive the same reaction, "Yeah, you don't seem to have schizophrenia." I've asked to have the diagnosis stricken from my record, but because I was treated for it for 7 years, it cannot be removed. I still have a really hard time trusting doctors. And, I frequently have nightmares where no one believes me, thinks I'm crazy and then locks me away. Although trivial, I also can't watch A Beautiful Mind without being triggered.

When The Act first premiered, I actually received a text from my dad commenting how much the whole situation reminded him of my mother. I couldn't help but feel sad for Gypsy Rose, and all the other ones who feel there is no escape. While I know there is hope, its a difficult and long journey to recovery.